Moving forward

I feel better today. Ran into an old friend; one that didn't make my life hell, so that was nice. Me and my best mate hung out and i managed to not act like a total ass and we had fun. I still don't think I'm ready to let go of the past just yet. But maybe i can at least start to move on; to get things on track. Then when the time comes I'll be able to completely move forward.

I can't deal

Me and him seem stronger than ever. But I've received some... information that - to be quite honest - has made me feel sick to my stomach and even more helpless than before. So celebrating our friendship seems inappropriate right now. I don't think i can deal with it all right now. I need to escape, to be free. I just want to have a life that's not surrounded by bad news and i don't want.. I just don't want this anymore.

Striking fear

The roads are so iced up, i think I'm gonna break my neck walking from college. Why is it, that the words "we need to talk." Strikes fear into my head? Am i a cliched guy who is scared of commitment or am i someone who, despite all this time, is scared of losing someone else?

Better not worse

Woo! College is open tomorrow - i really need it as it serves a distraction from the... complications of my life. Hopefully now, things can start getting back to what stands for normal around here. I'm really tired and confused. I just want to, not have to worry about such things anymore. Once again i don't know what the hell i am on about. all i know is that my ribs are fucking killing me. And my system is still up in the air thanks to some side effects. I thought medication was to help you get better not make you worse...? My bad.

Drama

Some things are just so dramatic it would be funny if it wasn't so serious. I've been having so many mood swings they're kind of giving me whiplash! And the others in my life are starting to get pissed with me, i just don't want to change for others. I know i can be a moody bastard and lately i have been the most insensitive one, as well. I know in some ways i have to change but i just do not think i am ready for that. At least not yet. This has just been one big ramble and i don't think i am even making sense to myself anymore.